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have you every noticed that you felt like you were supposed to do something? maybe you thought it was your gut. maybe you thought it was God. but you felt it so strongly that you knew it was what you were supposed to do but couldn’t tell other people why necessarily? i mean maybe it even seemed like the right thing to do.

i bet it was the opposite of what you wanted to do.

maybe you had the worst day. felt too many feels. maybe you wanted to have one more drink but knew you should put the alcohol down.

maybe you were grumpy and lonely. maybe you wanted to just retreat and hermit. maybe you knew you should call that person who has been trying to befriend you for weeks.

maybe you hit a wall. maybe you felt purposeless. maybe even hopeless. maybe God had been whispering to you, trying to talk and you knew you should engage.

it is in that moment we get to make a choice. often it is when we are alone. the quiet still place. that secret place not many get to see. do i do what i know i am supposed to do or do what i want to do.

but what happens when the thing you are supposed to do looks like the stupidest thing? what happens when the thing you are supposed to do looks like the opposite of what you should do? what then?

it’s easy to do what we are supposed to do when it makes sense. it is easy to follow rules when we understand why we are there…at least it helps me. it isn’t easy, however, to do what we are supposed to do when it doesn’t make sense and people think you’re crazy.

i dare say, success can only be found in that place out of relationship with the King of the universe who has backed every word ever spoken previous to that moment. i dare say, we can never do the thing we know we need to do if we don’t trust the One who has the outcome in His hands.

i spent most of my life just wanting to understand. to know why and how. i wanted to know what the next day looked like and the rest of my life. i wanted to have the answers. as i have become even better friends with this King, answers are less important. not because i don’t care but because i trust.

i see that even in my life with people. the more i trust, the less questions i have. the quicker i am to trust them when the circumstances seem weird than assume the worst.

it’s all about relationship. it’s all about knowing and being known. and even in the most painful of times and grandest of sacrifices we find surreal, steadfast love from the one who will never disappoint.