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sometimes….ok a lot of the time….it baffles me the way the Lord interacts and works and does things. in my pride i think i would do them differently. i would do it better somehow, though that can’t possibly be true.

sometimes i am sitting there frustrated thinking “yeah, yeah. i got this. can we move on. can we do something fun. can we take a break already?” sometimes i am just thinking this is too much. i can’t do another step.

in all of it, i love that the Lord still speaks. and He speaks to me in different ways but one of the ones He is currently using is this piece of fiction called The Inheritance series. there is this dragon rider who is being trained by an elf rider. as i read the following interaction it was as if the Lord was like “Hey!”

“Why must I endure this torture? You could use magic to give me the skills I need, to shape my body as you do the trees and plants.” – Eragon

“I could, but if I did, you would not understand how you got the body you had, your own abilities, nor how to maintain them. No shortcuts exist for the path you walk, Eragon.” – Oromis

sometimes the pain feels torturous. it feels like too much. He could simply make it go away but i know i would never appreciate it the same way. i wouldn’t value what i had. i wouldn’t understand His goodness.

sometimes all that is left is to walk with the pain, trusting that He knows what He is doing. trusting that He is teaching and is good because He says He’s good.