It’s so interesting to me how often I find myself not sleeping lately. My mind trying to process all that is going on in my head and my heart. The day is so busy and night seems to be the only time to think.
And then I think about the things I am trying to process. In the grand scheme of things, none of it even matters. What keeps drawing me back is this whole concept I read in a Tozer book recently. The concept of our struggle will never be as big as our sin. Our sin is the greater issue. And when I deserve complete separation from God and nothing good, He chooses to not only let me live but to walk in His presence. I deserved NOTHING but get it everything in HIM.
But for some reason, the truth is that isn’t enough in my sinful heart sometimes. Some days I completely give in to the flesh and believe the lies that are so easy to believe. Choosing the truth requires faith because life experiences make the lie so much more believable.
CJ Mahaney said, “Our suffering is never as great or as serious as our sins. If we walk in the truth of that, we have joy in the midst of suffering.” And my heart longs to walk in the truth of that. Tozer said that if we have actual faith we walk as if we see what we believe; that we don’t truly believe something til we’re walking in it.
And I am in that moment fully aware of how much I need the one who gave me this heart to love; who put breath in my lungs to breath. I trust Him. I hope in Him. Neither of these two will leave me disappointed because none of this will even compare to the glory that is to be revealed in Christ (Romans 8:18).