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sometimes it is easy to look at life and wonder “is this really what God had planned?” sometimes it is so easy to doubt the goodness of a Father who loves you so much He gave His son to die for you so you could be with Him. sometimes it is painful and you don’t know how He is going to make it work.

dare i say it, that is the most beautiful place to be.

i find myself in a place where I don’t know what is happening with my life. i find myself in a place where i have been obedient to what i thought He was saying but if He doesn’t show up, it won’t be good. i find myself in a place of complete dependence on my Papa.

if it were any other way, i could boast of my self provision. if it were any other way, He wouldn’t get glory for being a good Father. a Papa that provides for His daughter. if it were any other way faith wouldn’t be growing.

i read an amazing quote the other day.

Faith is forged in the valley of doubt. In fact, faith cannot exist without doubt. If it could, it would not be called faith; it would be called foregone conclusion. Faith is that substance that overcomes doubt. Faith has no victory unless it overcomes our doubts.

– Adam Stadtmiller – “Praying for Your Elephant”

it is so easy to doubt when the circumstances seem impossible. it is so easy to doubt when there is nothing in your control to do. when you can’t make people hire you. or like you. or change circumstances that aren’t in your control.

but that is the fight for faith. faith without doubt is no faith at all. a win without a fight is no win at all. and He tells us that we are more than conquerors. we are mighty victors in Him. and it is in that place that you can find the strength to keep moving.

faith is often portrayed as this mighty thing. this thing that walks victoriously. this soldier that is confident of victory. but sometimes, faith is simply a step towards a Father that loves you. sometimes all that faith can muster is a step. a step toward the Father and away from the devil. sometimes faith doesn’t even have the strength to run…it simply limps. but oh how God sees the limping

and it is in that place that He meets me. He comes with love and compassion and reminds me who He is. the question is will i turn toward Him or away. will i have faith in Him or be like peter who sees the storm around me and starts to sink?