that moment when you think you’re doing well. you’re excited for the adventure to come and then your counselor looks you in the eyes and says that you aren’t being very good to yourself. you aren’t grieving the many and large losses that are happening all at the same time.
and then, all at once, the feels hit. feeling akin to having the breath knocked out of you. the eyes keep producing tears though you demand they stop. they burn intensely when you finally do stop. your brain gets foggy or maybe simply overwhelmed. and the grieving takes over.
whether you make the choice or it is a choice made for you, loss is hard. it is painful. in the midst of it, it is easy to question His goodness at the same time you’re proclaiming it because it is true whether or not your heart believes it in the moment.
in the midst of loss and pain is where character is often molded. it is here the hard choices are made. it is here you choose to believe your God is who He says He is or what you feel He is. it is in the midst of this pain that your heart cries out to Him and He comes to comfort you as He promised.
in the midst of this adventure, new beginnings, new heights of knowing Him, i grieve the losses, trusting He has a plan. trusting that the loss is leading to something that He has in store.
today was my last day at frontline. a place that not only i worked and went to church but was my life for the last two+ years. i don’t know what is next but oh how i love surprises! and while i grieve the loss of “home”, i am thankful that one day there won’t be anymore loss and i will be forever home.