engaging in conversation with God is probably THE thing in life i am most thankful for. obviously i’m thankful for being saved from myself and all of the things that have anything to do with God, but His perpetual nearness and conversation is what sustains me. friendship with the best friend ever is what keeps me close.
but it is so interesting because He doesn’t think like i do. He doesn’t do things the way i would do them. He gives the sense of urgency only for me to find myself waiting. He speaks in riddles and hides things so i can figure them out. like a game of hide and seek as the anonymous author of the “Ancrene Riwle” writes.
often i have found that silence to be frustrating. often is has felt like a cruel joke. a toying with my emotions which seem overwhelming in the moment. often i have found the silence painful.
but what if it is in fact an invitation.
as i see God moving in my life in the past few years and most specifically in the past couple of months, He’s doing something but i don’t know what yet. it’s like i keep getting pieces but i can’t make out the picture. He has given me the edges but He keeps giving me random center pieces that aren’t quite helpful yet.
and then silence.
and therein lies the invitation. the invitation to go back to what i KNOW to be true. the pieces could mean a lot of different things. the pieces could make up a few different pictures but the silence is an invitation to go back to where i last saw Him and KNEW HIM.
i am finding the silence to be a place where His nearness is felt and known, giving room to process without being given the answer. He does love a good puzzle to solve. He does love a good mystery.
and in the place of His nearness and silence, one thing remains true. HE IS GOOD. i can not escape it. not only is He good but so are His intentions for me. each thing He allows is good not because it is pleasurable but because He is present in the midst of it and will use it for His glory and my good.
sometimes you don’t have to know what is going on or where you are going or what you are doing. sometimes all you need to know is that God is near and He is doing something even when you can’t see it.
so when He is silent, what can you go back to? what is the place you can sit and rest in silence because you know this one thing? perhaps it is that you are loved. perhaps it is that He knows that He has the purposes for you. perhaps it is…..
regardless of where that place is, His silence is never negative. He is not a Father that is so easily swayed into anger and passive aggressive tendencies. in fact He never operates that way. He is not a Father who is cruel and unloving. it is the kindness of the Lord to give space at times, even though it may not feel it.
what do you KNOW to be true above all else? above all circumstances. above all feelings. above all else.