i have had a lot of haircuts in my life and they have all just been haircuts. some have been more fun than others. some have been more colorful than others. but hair has just been hair.
until it wasn’t.
a month or so ago i was sitting in cuppies and joe. i love going there and sitting in the nook in the southwest corner of this cute little house made coffee shop. it’s quiet and hidden. i can get lost in a good book for hours.
i digress. a girl walked in, cute as could be. she was short and preggers. and her hair. she had her head shaved except a small patch of bangs. [interjecting back story: i am not one who typically cares about hairstyles or clothes or whatever. i mean sometimes i will like something but VERY RARELY do i think “i need that shirt/dress/etc.” i am quite practical when it comes to all that. never have i thought “i need that haircut”]
when i saw her haircut something in me knew i had to have it. now if you read my back story or maybe you know me, you probably find that as odd as i did. never have i thought that before. it wasn’t the same as ” i wanna try this haircut” it was as if something awoke inside of me.
all of a sudden i had remembered how ever since i was early teens and had seen “G.I. Jane” i had always wanted to shave my head. always. but i have always been too chicken. there isn’t really going back after that type of thing…at least not right away.
i know. it sounds crazy. but just keep reading.
so first of all i didn’t even know if i could pull it off. i’m still a bit chubby in the face…could i do it? i also am a business owner now. before as a graphic designer i could get away with a lot but now…i didn’t know. my mentor in my profession quickly egged me on! “you can do anything in real estate,” she said.
i text my friend (if you need a stylist, let me know) and asked her if i could pull it off and before i knew it, i had an appointment.
but the crazy part of the story isn’t even over yet.
i get there. i show her a couple pictures of what i liked. it was crazy. what was i thinking?!
as i sat in the chair i was so anxious and felt so weird. she started parting my hair and as she made the first cut before shaving my head…”what are you doing?” i felt a little bit of panic rise in me. but there was something greater. there was this feeling of it felt important to do this. to take this leap.
as she shaved my head it was as if all of the anxiety melted away. the panic, the fear…it was gone. by the time she was done with my hair, all i could think was “BEST DECISION EVER.”
but it just kept getting better. as i went to meet a friend and then on to do errands, i could sense something had changed. i had lost something. as odd as it may sound, it felt like i was “ME” for the first time ever. obviously not ever but that is how big of a shift it felt like inside.
nothing about my physical body has changed. i haven’t lost weight (or negligible amounts anyway). i still have the same clothes. but i feel different. i feel more confident. more beautiful. more me than ever. what a fun adventure. and so here i stand. my head half shaved, loving life.
sometimes a haircut is just a haircut….and sometimes it is something far more.