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i have been so blessed over the years to know so many incredible couples. every single one of them has taught me something different. some haven’t ended like they hoped. some have been a terrible fight to keep it in tact. some have been less dramatic but all of them were hard.

as a single, never-been-married, it is so hard to tangibly understand because i haven’t “known” it. the experiential know is lacking. so i go off of shared stories, observation and honest conversations. married people say “it isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.”

i can’t imagine it ever being easy. friendships are hard sometimes. in marriage you are together…forever. in the same bed. the same house.

and though i hear the hard stories. the stories of couples going in the opposite direction of each other and God restoring it to better than it was ever before. the stories of “falling out of love” and learning to find what it once started with. the stories of reconciliation and hope and healing make my heart so happy.

in the end, marriage will never satisfy. just like drugs or alcohol or sex or community. it is simply a sweet gift from God, given so that we might proclaim His greatness! as i think of the marriages i have been around i am reminded that

marriage is about…
– honoring God
– a sanctification process
– hard but awesome journey

marriage is not about…
– always being right
– getting what you think you deserve
– the “perfect” other person
– always “feeling” like you’re in love

you may not always feel in love. you may not even like him/her on a given day. if that were all it was about i don’t think God would have chosen this relationship to describe His relationship with us. it is a battle sometimes. it is hard. but the bride is worth the fight. the person you are with is worth the fight because that is who you chose…or in my case, whoever it ends up being.

i pray i never take a single moment of it for granted. i pray that though it will be hard He will remind me that He is working and it isn’t on my shoulders. that though i am beyond frustrated some days, the Lord has grace for me. marriage isn’t about us. the moment we think it is will be the moment satan has a foothold. it is about God being glorified through us.

at least through my single’s mind.