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christianity is not about our disciplined pursuit of God, but about God’s relentless pursuit of us – to the point of dying on a cross for us that we might become His friends.
– Peter Scazzero “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”

as people have prayed over me in pursuit of the gift of prophecy, two things have been prayed:

  1. rest. any places that you are striving, stop striving and rest in Him.
  2. “let Me love you” (someone heard God say to me). i have also felt the Lord wanting me to know His love deeper.

the tricky thing about the flesh and humanity is that i don’t even see it. my eyes are blind to the striving. to the pushing away of His love. the horrible belief somewhere that i can do it on my own and if i don’t expect His love maybe i won’t be disappointed when it looks different than i had hoped.

and the brokenness becomes visible. it is so much easier to do that to be. it is so much easier to discipline myself and pursue the Lord instead of be with Him. it is easier to believe the lies that assail and give in to the emotions that persist.

in the end, however, His truth will prevail. in the end, when i bring Him everything. every doubt. every fear. every heart wrenching pain. every tear. every hope. every passion. every desire. at that moment, He promises His perfect peace. He promises peace that passes all understanding. He promises that “though the mountains be cast into the sea”, i don’t need to be afraid.

so many don’t know that hope. don’t know that love. don’t know that sacrifice. and that breaks my heart. it breaks my heart that people claim to be “good” when they are in fact drowning on the bottom of the ocean with no hope but the One they say they don’t need.

Open eyes! Unclog ears! Prepare hearts Lord!