Well over a year ago as I prepared to sell everything I owned to prepare for a move over seas, I was having a conversation with God about how all these people in my life believe in me so much more than I did. They thought I was so much better than I thought about myself. He told me quite clearly that it had to stop. The next thing He said haunted me though…”you won’t be going anywhere until you believe about you what they believe about you.”
I wanted to cry a little. The things I didn’t believe about myself seemed inconsequential. They were small in comparison to the things that were in my heart to do and accomplish with my life. Yet they were the clincher.
Fast forward to my birthday last year. I have an annual ritual on my birthday. I take myself out on a date with Jesus. We talk about what He did in my life the last year. He shows me things I missed. He makes connections and it is always so incredible because each year I wonder what He could possibly show me and each year I am surprised! Then after discussing the previous year, I ask Him what He wants to do in the coming year. What word does He want to flesh out in my life.
So by the time I do this with Him, I have completely forgotten what He said about me moving. I didn’t in fact remember it until sometime this summer when things started shifting in my mind. The word He gave me for this year was RENEW. The idea of renewing my mind so as to be transformed into His image. Hahah He really does know what He is doing.
And as I think about it, I begin to realize the weight of living out of your identity in new ways. Dan McCollam in training on processing prophetic words gives a great example of this. Consider David and Saul. Saul forgot his identity and there was distance between him and God. David, however, long before the prophetic words about him became true, operated from the reality that is how he was seen in Heaven.
So going along with this, I think the Lord tests us. When we think about it, it can be viewed so harshly and meanly BUT…what if the test is for us…not Him?
What if He tests us so that we can see how far we have come? I think, in part, that is what my recent visit to Turkey was about. A year ago, if I had the same exact trip, I would have come back doubting what I knew I had heard God say about many things. I would have needed all my mentors and people who know me well to confirm in me what He was doing. Instead, I came back confident of what I know is my call and what He has said over me in spite of what it looks like.
That was an incredible feeling! To know that I not only passed the test but that I it was probably just as much to show me as to show Him.
What if you lived out of your identity before it even happens? What if you, like David, lived out of the reality that Heaven calls you instead of what the world calls you? How powerful would that be?!