So many have responded to me telling them I’m leaving with… ”wait! what?!” I wish I had time to sit down with each of you but there is much to do in 3 weeks so here is the story….
This year God told me what He was going to do was “radical movement”. What’s funny…of I guess to be expected at this point, is that I sat at a wall most of the year. By that I simply mean, I felt like I wasn’t moving anywhere. I couldn’t get ahead and I could figure out what He was doing. One minute He was doing one thing and the next a completely different thing. It was frustrating and I wondered if I had missed Him completely. But God seems to show up at what I deem the last minute…for Him obviously, it is the perfect minute.
So about mid-August, I started feeling an urge to get rid of “stuff”. That seems to be confirmed through conversation with people I know and trust. When I was told to get ready and reminded of “radical movement”, He reminded me of my heart for Europe, how I wanted to be a missionary to Asia as a kid. And then He invited me to dream. So when I asked Him how do I get ready, I felt the nudge to get rid of everything I didn’t need day to day, which happened to be most of my house. Hence the garage sale.
As I invited older, wiser people than I to confirm or correct me as I processed through all I was hearing, I got nothing but green lights! I was even approached about going overseas with ideas and helpful things to do and see and know. One of which was an exploratory trip to the UK and Turkey. I asked God that if it was Him, that I would need money to do that and so He blessed my garage sale tremendously. Enough to go over there and stay a couple of weeks.
You may wonder why the UK and/or Turkey. Well, there are a few reasons:
- Europe has been in my dreams since about 2012. I would wake up often and think I was in London, England or Europe. Sometimes I didn’t remember the dream, just that there I was over in that beautiful place, once again. Simultaneously I was given a word back in 2012 that God was going to restore childhood dreams. The only one that I can remember that I am not doing in some capacity is I wanted to be a missionary to Asia. Now, I have no desire to go to East Asia but West Asia has appealed to me.
- Turkey happens to be the only country that is Europe AND Asia. So that caught my attention.
- The one point in church history that I constantly go back to and wrestle with and think about is how Constantine make Christianity the state religion in Constantinople in 300 AD and I believe changed the course of Christianity. Constantinople is current take Istanbul. I just learned that and that also caught my attention.
- The organization I was connected with for the UK also has strong ties in Istanbul as well as I was connected to someone else to someone in Istanbul.
So it seems these two places are quite tied in what God has been saying. I am sure there are other reasons or things I am forgetting…my brain has turned to mush with all the emotions swirling around in there.
God has not yet been specific about where in Eurasia I will go, but I know I am going. Each time I have related the story and my heart and how I am processing it all, I have met hesitation only once and it was because I didn’t know where I was going…but neither did Abraham. 😀 Not that I think I am on Abraham’s level but God does ask us to step in faith and He always catches us. God has also talked to me often/always/constantly about Abraham. The story is near and dear to my heart.
So out of all that, I have been preparing. My house has been pared down significantly. Then last Sunday, I felt God drop a thought in my head…” what if I spend my last days in the states with my family?”
I knew it was Him because for 14 years I have told my parents I couldn’t move to Washington because I knew God was doing something with me where I was. I never felt released to go. That is hard! I have missed much of my nieces growing up. I have never been around my family as an adult except for the week vacation here and there. For that to drop into my heart and mind, I knew it was God because it wasn’t something I would do or say.
The reason it is so quick is that in the last 14 years, I have only spent 1 Thanksgiving with my family because it was always Christmas or Thanksgiving…so obviously Christmas!
One of the things that I have felt this year was about was growing my confidence. I felt like God said to me once, “I need you to go the first time I say it, not needing 3 and 4 confirmations.” I have spent my life doubting myself. Doubting if I could do anything but be a wife and a mom. In the last three years along I have learned that I can preach pretty well. I can start and run a successful business. I can receive rejection (PRAISE THE LORD!) I can live an abundant life without community (yes I know I was created to exist in it, no I was not processing life on my own, but #struggleofthe2*). I learned that I can be confident in how I hear Him and I can go where He says go. I know my authority. I know my value and worth. I am ready to go! To do things I only dreamed about and never thought would be possible.
Oklahoma has been so so so good to me. The thought of leaving this sweet makes me cry every. single. time. But I am born to leave! I have learned that I am a pioneer though I tried to be a settler. You all have been such a blessing. I am leaving this place a different woman than the one I came here as. I can’t wait to see what God has in store!
Thank you. Thank you for your investment in my life and in my future. Thank you for not leaving me the way you found me. Thank you for the pain and the loss and the pleasure and the joy. Thank you for the prayers and prophetic words. Thank you for the correction and the challenge. Thank you for the laughs and the amazing times over delicious meals. Thank you.
This place will always hold a special place in my heart. And it is the place I feel like I am being sent out of. Earlier this year God told me that Oklahoma was “home base”. I will be back. You will see me again! So much of the business I needed to get completed has been done, some minor business things to tie up. So please, reach out, I would love to drink coffee with you or eat some yummy sushi or take a walk in the park or sit and just be with you.
Also, if you would like to keep updated on the adventures and/or support the journey, please let me know! I can’t wait to see all that God does!