it is so interesting to me how the Lord never seems to work like i think he will/should/could. sometimes i take it so dramatically like i am being slain and others i chuckle. but seriously…never like i think it will happen. or when.
i haven’t slept well since about last tuesday. my mind has been racing and though i have always had this problem, it has calmed the more freedom i have found. i have learned to take each thought captive. i sit in the word or with the Lord and it is good. none of that has worked this time around which leads me to believe it is an attack.
that being said i think, i am gonna ask for some prayer. so there we sit after CRM. amanda and j ford are supposed to pray for me. ready. can’t wait to get home to sleep. j ford starts and is praying for chemical imbalances and peace of mind. he pauses and then he says the one thing i had thought “ok Lord, if Jordan says that again tonight…”
and i was undone. the Lord came and met me again. even though He has shared with me before. He meets me again. and i am blown away by His compassion. i am blown away at His love. that He really just wants me to hear this. then many other people prayed for me and it was incredible. awe inspiring. make me wanna give praise to God all night long good. exactly what i needed to hear.
and yet again i walk away thinking…i wasn’t expecting that. i just wanted to sleep but instead He chose to encourage me. He chose to meet me and love on me through very specific phrases that we have discussed many a times.
that is the God i serve. the God who comes. the God who is near the brokenhearted. who is near the faint of spirit. the God who shows up to do exceeding abundantly beyond what we can think or imagine. and if that is the case, i can’t wait to see how He blows my mind with the things He has told me to be expectant in.
and now…i will sleep.