i don’t know how things will end up. i don’t know what will happen with my house that i fear i don’t have the money for. i don’t know what will happen with the rest of this year where i feel the Lord has made promises and don’t know how He will come through. i don’t know how to believe the truths that are being called out against the lies i believe. i don’t know a lot about a lot.
and i think of a word i have gotten a couple of times…”you don’t need to know yet. He isn’t telling you cause He loves you. when you need to know, you will know. He is growing faith in you.” faith. i want faith. i want that which i lack.
i want to have the faith of abraham. i want to believe that He can resurrect from the dead that which i sacrifice. i want to believe that He can and will provide even when i don’t see it. that He will bring a ram in the bushes just as it is time.
unfortunately, i am not always like abraham. i fear i am often much more like thomas. “i won’t believe unless i see,” he proclaimed. but i want to believe even if i never see. if i never experience. if i never touch. i want to believe that my God is a God who raises people from the dead! He is a God that raises people from the dead! praise the Lord!!!
Abba Father, i thank you that you are a God who sent your son and then raised Him from the dead. i thank you that your sacrifice was completely sufficient to cleanse me of my sin, my doubt, my shame, my stubbornness, and on and on and on. i thank you that you are the one who mends hearts and calls forth life. i thank you that you don’t give up on your children and are a loving Father who delights in blessing His children. Lord, fill my heart with the faith of abraham. let me believe that you will come through even when i don’t understand how, for your ways are not mine!