there are times when this season of transition is overwhelming with pain and loss and grieving. if i keep my eyes just where the Lord is, its ok but sometimes i don’t. sometimes i run amok in my mind dwelling on all the losses. on all the pain that is just sitting inside me.
just as this season was starting, maybe a little before, i was talking to God about His goodness. how was He good in spite of so many things that didn’t seem good. my heat knew He was good but my heart was playing catch up. and then as i lay in bed at 4am this morning, it hit me….
i asked for this…
in a sort of way anyway. as i sat there asking Him how it was good, i cried out that i wanted to believe that if nothing was going well. that if everything i had was lost. that if pain overwhelmed me and i was well acquainted with grief, i wanted my heart to believe that He was and is and will always be GOOD.
and i see that is just what He is doing. He is letting my heart be sure.
He is showing me that goodness isn’t about feeling. it isn’t about relief. it isn’t about circumstances changing or even happiness in the midst of them.
His goodness is sending an angel to the garden of gethsemane to strengthen Jesus so that He could continue to pray in anguish. His goodness is His strength, His delight, His presence in whatever is going on around you.
at the end of the day the pain may not be gone. you may still not have a job. every friend may have left. the loss of a dream may be very real, but one thing remains true…He is there. He is there in your midst and that is the goodness of the Lord.