people have made comments to me throughout my life about how faithful i am. quite honestly it often makes me feel uncomfortable. i am no better than anyone else. i am nothing special. there have been so many times when God has told me something was coming or do something or spoke through someone and my response was a laugh. i laughed in there face.
we can all be faithful. it is simply a fruit of the Spirit. but instead of focusing on God, our eyes are always on each other. comparing ourselves to each other. oh they are smarter. they are prettier. they are more prophetic. they are more athletic. they are more prepared for everything. they are…..
it’s stupid. stop.
Graham Cooke says he has a two word counseling message. “stop it”
hahahahaa. i think to myself yeah. just stop comparing myself to other people. sometimes it isn’t so easy. the habit of comparison is so deeply ingrained in my brain, i don’t even do consciously anymore. all of a sudden i am aware that i feel sad or frustrated and it takes me a solid 5 minutes to figure out i was comparing myself to my best friend who gets crazy things from God for the church.
or maybe the most beautiful woman walked by and all of a sudden i want to crawl into a hole and disappear. 5 minutes later i feel like an idiot because i am all wound up over comparing myself to someone who was never even meant to be the standard of comparison.
it’s easy to compare to others because we can see them. it is a little harder because God isn’t walking around with flesh on…but you know what, the apostles did the same thing. they compared themselves and argued over who was gonna be on Jesus’ left and right side.
last night i was laying in the middle of the rug in the beautiful living room of this stunning retreat of a house i am blessed to live in right now. as i laid there i was just asking God if He wanted to show me anything. all of a sudden He made this link that just blew my mind. how i compare and fret over “time” is like peter looking at the waves instead of just walking. i wonder when the time is gonna be up. when is this gonna happen? when is that word gonna be fulfilled?
but each conscious decision to think about time and what He isn’t doing, means i am not looking at Him in the face. i am sinking.
there is a line in a bethel song called “shepherd” and it says….
…so walking on water is just the beginning…
i don’t want to just walk on the water. i want to dance on the water. i want my eyes to be so focused on God and what He is doing that the time rushes around me and the waves bounce around me. i don’t want my eyes to be on comparing myself to a prettier woman. or someone who i think hears God better. or someone who knows what they are doing with their life. or someone who is where i want to be. i simply want to dance on the water, “finally ready now to close my eyes and just believe that [He] won’t lead me where [He] doesn’t go” (bethel “we dance”).
quit comparing. quit worrying. quit looking everywhere but at the only One who actually even matters. and enjoy the dance.