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i spent the first 22 years of my life with horrible eating habits, not as bad as some i know but bad enough. i knew fruits and veggies but didn’t eat them nearly enough. mac and cheese was a staple along with honey bunches of oats and spaghetti was a frequent visitor at the dinner table.

my dad had a triple by pass at the age of 45 and it freaked me out. that coupled with his health problems and my mom’s pancreatitis were enough to scare me into shape. so i began running. at first i could only run for 30 seconds without wanting to pass out. i wanted to improve my heart and it was the only¬† thing i could think to do.

i was nearly 100 lbs over weight. i dropped 30 lbs pretty quickly. then my senior year of college hit and i was working full time and going to school full time. fast food was the easiest and i put 10 right back on. finally i moved to texas after graduating. i didn’t know anyone so all i did for the first year was pay off debt (car, student loans and cc) and work out. i lost another 50 lbs. i worked with a trainer and it was great. i learned counting calories and portion control and then i hit a wall. and that is where i have stayed for the last 4 years.

i have prayed for a break through. the self control i once had when losing weight before but it was no where to be found. but when i came back from poland, something inside me switched. earlier this year jamye lane told me she felt like this was the year the Lord was going to bring freedom to it. i remember thinking…ok it’s july and nothing is happening. then when i got back i felt like it was “time”.

so i set out to do whole 30. i knew portion and calories but what i wanted was to really learn healthy choices and get in a habit of doing them. 21 days to make/break a habit. so that was my goal. and what is crazy is that it was so easy. i wasn’t “dying” for anything. i would go out to eat with friends and they are apologizing but i was fine.

and now that i am done and that it accomplished the things i had hoped it would, it is so interesting. no matter how many times i had given up sweets or carbs or whatever it was, i always craved them. and now i don’t. and i don’t get it but i praise God for yet another level of freedom He is obviously working in my life cause i have been trying for years with no avail.

between you and me…i’m so thankful He is the one working in me. that He is changing that which i can’t. that He is pruning and grooming and loving me in ways i can’t. i look back and think man this is better than what i thought. He is making me into more than i thought i could be. there is more freedom than i could have ever hoped. there is more joy. more contentment. more peace. what a privilege to serve the king of the universe who is intimately acquainted with the details of my life.