it seems like every time i turn around, there is yet one more amazing guy saying something along the lines of “i don’t know how to pursue a girl” or “i don’t know what to say” or “i don’t know her well enough”…and on and on and on.
here are my thoughts on the matter for what they are worth.
let’s presume that you have hung out with with your lady friend you hope to pursue enough times to be wanting to pursue her not simply because of her looks.
first things first
the most important thing is knowing your identity in Christ. the King of the Universe calls his men warriors. mighty warriors. He has placed you in the place and time to lead. leadership for each of you looks different but none the less leading. in Him there is no condemnation. you were created with a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. walk in it. let that truth blow your mind. there is nothing more attractive than someone who walks in the truth of who God says they are.
pursuing isn’t about doing everything perfectly. it isn’t about knowing completely what you are doing before you do it. if a woman is expecting perfection, she’s probably not ready to be pursued.
1. take time to get to know her. when she talks, listen. ask her questions. be a student of her. call her and have fun with her. be a gentleman. open doors. tell her how lovely she looks. learn to do things she loves to do and invite her into the things you love to do.
2. once you know things about her, put them into use. if you know she likes blackberry cobbler and you are having her over for dinner…make her blackberry cobbler. if you know she loves to hike, invite her to go hiking. it is all about making a girl know that you are paying attention and that you care.
3. make sure you communicate. explain your motives so there is no confusion. lead well by not leaving her to guess or try and figure out what is going on in your head. that doesn’t mean you need to tell her everything but if you are gonna be crazy busy at work for the next month, let her know your schedule will be a little less flexible. she will probably be fine with it and even more so because she isn’t sitting around trying to figure why you haven’t called for three days.
4. most importantly, seek the Lord in it. He created romance. He created love. He LOVES love. let him be the guide. and there are men who love helping other men pursue well. i know many! if you need one, i’ll hook you up.
those are my thoughts as a woman. they aren’t perfect. but maybe a starting place. have fun gents!